Hey y'all!
I used to be so annoyed when people talked about social media increasing people's anxieties and decreasing our self image. I thought it was a great way to communicate with family and friends that were far away and a great form of expression. But as I've grown up I am definitely seeing the negatives. While I still think that it is really cool to be living through these unprecedented times of communication, it has made us more competitive than ever. And with that competitiveness a lot of self doubt has come up.
I kinda miss being in elementary school and not caring who I played games with at recess and what I looked like afterwards. You knew you had a fun day if you came home kinda dirty and unkempt. Nowadays kids in elementary school are better at makeup than I am at 20, and are bullied more for their appearance at way younger ages. Whether this stems from the opinions they see at home, or having social media become destructive to their self image at a much younger age because of its prevalence, I don't know. But I feel that if we made an effort to be more authentic online the younger generations wouldn't feel like they had to grow up so fast.
Self-doubt, self-depreciation, self-centeredness. Your life is about you, so when did you start feeling like who you are isn't good enough? I think social media created platforms where we had to start bragging about small things we used to just be proud of and move on from. Where we had to start seeking positive affirmation from others online. We are so "me me me" but in such a superficial way that our accounts are competitions in themselves now. The semester just ended and the amount of "finished with a 4.0!" captions I saw was insane and I'm so super proud of all of them! (Even if they didn't actually finish with 4.0's). But are you proud of you? Did you accomplish what you set out for this semester? Did you feel good while you were going through the classes? I love when my friends show themselves off, heck I love showing myself off, but are we all making the conscious effort to be proud of ourselves first and foremost? Falling into the trap of needing, not just accepting, positive affirmations from others in order to feel good about ourselves is dangerous. And to continue the example: are you captioning your photo of you enjoying your summer break about your grades because you wanted to? Or are you doing it because 7 other people on your feed did it and you feel like if you don't they'll assume you didn't get the same GPA as them. P.S.: I struggled a couple semesters ago, and my current overall GPA is a 3.4. And I am insanely proud of it!
I've written about this before but influencers are almost always masking their insecurities in order to look picture perfect. I am loving the new wave of positivity online where people are highlighting their insecurities, but for me when I was growing up online I didn't see much of that, if any. I saw people with amazing teeth and thought they were so beautiful, but I have a super crooked tooth and had a silver crown for a really long time that I was very self conscious of. I never saw any of that. I see incredibly strong fitness accounts but only recently have I seen those accounts sitting down and showing that they also don't have abs when they're slouched on the couch. It takes two seconds to be vulnerable with others and say "I struggle with this too!" Breaking down the walls we put up around our accounts and ourselves in order to preserve the imaginary perfection (that we never held to begin with) is definitely a group effort. But it is one I am willing to join. I think people looking at me like I don't have faults is lame. My work in ministry is based on my students trusting me and trusting that I have struggled through the things they are struggling with. How hard would it be if you felt that your small group leader could not relate to you on those basic struggles we all had in middle school? I for one would probably never be able to open up to that person for fear of being looked down on.
Like I said before: I love when people show themselves off. I just think we all need to like ourselves a little bit more, and understand whatever we are posting is being posted for ourselves. If others enjoy it too, then great! Welcome to the party! But we can't lose sight of the fact that not every day is picture perfect, not every breakfast snap is story worthy, not every achievement is a 4.0 semester, but hopefully it is all good enough for you.
Your body, your skin, your mental health, your struggles, and anything you may feel others would judge you for, all make up who you are. They are a part of your story. Would you be where you are today if it weren't for all of these things that shaped you? And if you are judged for those things, if someone makes you feel smaller because you shared that part of yourself, then that is a problem for the other person. We deserve to be accepted and loved for who we are with our insecurities laid bare. If your parent can love you even though they probably lived through those weird stages with you, then shoot y'all so can everyone else.