Hey y'all! A while back I had some awesome feedback from a few people because of my honesty about doubting the Lord and losing that relationship from time to time. I even had been asked to write about what it may have been like for people who feel like they've lost the Lord this year.
God is so cool in the ways that he shows us how to commit to something. The way he showed me how to commit to this idea was through a conversation with my good friend Ariah Jade. She and I had the same idea and decided "hey, we should pursue this, but together!" So we did!
We started a series founded on Isaiah 43 1:7 (CSB) "Now this is what the Lord says -- the one who formed you, Israel -- 'Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are mine. I will be with you when you pass through the waters, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. You will not be scorched when you walk through the fire, and the flame will not burn you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, and your Savior. I have given Egypt as a ransom for you, Cush and Seba in your place. Because you are precious in my sight and honored, and I love you, I will give people in exchange for you and nations instead of your life. Do not fear, for I am with you; I will bring your descendants from the east, and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, 'Give them up!' and to the south 'Do not hold them back!'. Bring my sons from far away, and my daughters from the ends of the earth -- everyone who bears my name and is created for my glory. I have formed them; indeed, I have made them'."
Wow.
Let's unpack that a little bit.
In the simplest ways to interpret that scripture we can say that it shows us God loves us deeply and would do anything for us and give anything for our safe return.
He tells us not to fear the waters rushing around us or the burning fires. He has already covered us in an insane protection that is honestly unfathomable, and is still willing to give nations as ransom for our hearts. He just wants us to pursue him fully.
So what did Ariah and I do with this idea? We made a mini series on Instagram's IGTV feature with a total of six videos. Three were about what it has felt like to find the Lord during the last 6 (crazy) months, and where to go from here. And the other three were about what it has been like if you feel you've lost the Lord during lockdown and how we can combat that. We wanted to dig into both sides of this coin because it can sometimes be considered taboo to try and bring up faith struggles with other religious people for fear of judgement. But reminder: we are not called to judge others, we are instead called to love. So Ariah and I wanted to make sure this series was more like a conversation between trusted friends, rather than us talking at someone and telling them how to fix their faith. Let's be real: I am definitely not qualified to do that anyways. The amount I fall off the wagon and try to take control of my life daily is proof enough that I should not be judging others for their own inner battles.
Through the series we discussed how prayer is so important to our faith. One of the biggest faith struggles my small group girls face is navigating putting blind trust in someone you cannot see and most of us never really "hear". It's not like when I raise my hand in class and ask my professor to clarify something and get that immediate gratification. Prayer with the Lord can feel awkward and boring and non-eventful if we are never taught how or given realistic examples. One of the biggest things I wanted to highlight was this: If you go to church and your greatest example of prayer comes from your pastor praying over the congregation every Sunday, you have for sure been exposed to prayer. However. You cannot be expected to pray for yourself the same way. Our pastors or small group leaders or whoever that get in front of an audience and pray for the group are not having that one on one prayer that they are probably having at home or in the car or before big events by themselves. Prayer by ourselves is really intimate and personal and usually a touch more honest. And not to say that praying in a group can't be those things, but I think people can get confused when those are the only examples of prayers we see. So teaching my small group girls, and any viewers of the series, that we should try to pray anywhere and everywhere, about anything and everything, was and is really important to me. Prayer is beautiful and transformative, and not something we should ever feel like we "aren't good at". Yes, it takes some practice to feel like you're communicating well, but we shouldn't compare our prayers to others'.
We also talked about routines a lot. I think a lot of us felt like maybe we were in a great routine, and then the world shut down, and now its been six months and things still aren't normal and they probably won't be for a really long time. So what did we do in those first few months? Personally I didn't do anything. I didn't go out of my way to try and continue some kind of routine. I still had my small groups on Wednesdays over Zoom, and I did a college summer bible study weekly, but I didn't watch church much and if I did I wasn't focused. I didn't read my bible outside of those small groups, and if I did it wasn't a lot. I thought I was going to have all this free time to really get into the Word and dive deeper into what my faith means to me and come out of quarantine this new and improved version of myself but I honestly just felt guilty. And it has been so cool to be open and honest about that and see the waves of replies from my peers saying "yes! I am not alone!" Sometimes when life gets really overwhelming I end up overwhelming myself more somehow and then have to shut down for a few days just to feel normal again. So there were a lot of times during quarantine where I felt really productive, and then I felt really over-productive, and then I'd crash for a few days, and then I'd feel bad about crashing, and so on. I had to teach myself that it didn't matter if I blocked hours a day on my phone where my apps would lock me out, if I didn't actually take the time to dedicate a few minutes to cracking open my bible I just wouldn't do it. Routine or not, if my heart is not focusing on the Lord, nothing else feels right.
The last thing I'll highlight that we talked about is church hurt. I saw and heard a lot of people talking about how because church was fully online they didn't feel judged for attending. There was no fear of not being accepted because there was a level of anonymity. Unless I told someone or posted about watching a service you would never know I was there. No one was getting any weird looks from church goers, no one had any preconceived ideas about others in attendance, people felt like it was accessible again. Historically speaking the Christian church has been a really hurtful place to people who Christians felt didn't belong. Let me be perfectly clear: If the preaching of your faith somehow involves condemning others for their actions or for who they love or for where they have been, you are not a follower of Jesus and you are belittling what He did for us on the cross. There is no room for hate in the Christian church. There are no scripture that tell you you are allowed to hate others because you disagree with them. We are not called to judge. We are called to loving our neighbors as ourselves. We are called to live like Jesus lived. He associated himself with adulterers, lepers, social outcasts. You have no right to make another person feel as though their faith is unaccepted because of who God made them to be.
We have to do better as a community. I am very blessed with the people I am surrounded with because they are such open-minded individuals. Constantly learning and lending a hand to others. Always striving to include those around them. Trying to make the faith accessible to all again. This year has been insane, that's something we can all agree on. So doesn't it seem like now is the best time to show the love of God to others by loving them well ourselves? Mouths full of scripture does not equal hearts full of love, so let's get the heart thing right before we start preaching at others.
I know that it's really easy to think this year is one big punishment, and many people have struggled and are still struggling hard. But I truly believe our God is a protector and that we are covered in strength from Him, we just have to reach out and hold on tightly to it.
Thank y'all so much for reading this post, and I would love it if you would head over to my instagram (@therealnickidipietro) and watch our IGTV Rebirth and Renewal series!